1 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,585 ♪ There's a light in my chest ♪ 2 00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:13,826 ♪ growing deep down 3 00:00:13,827 --> 00:00:20,102 ♪ She's talking for the best, but she's so loud ♪ 4 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,205 Hey, Dwight. 5 00:00:21,206 --> 00:00:22,792 Coming to farmer's market later? 6 00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:25,412 Yeah, wouldn't miss it. 7 00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:35,240 Want a strawberry? 8 00:00:35,241 --> 00:00:35,861 Organic? 9 00:00:35,862 --> 00:00:37,412 Of course. 10 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:38,412 So, I'm almost done with my piece 11 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,274 about the endangered belly button owl. 12 00:00:40,275 --> 00:00:41,585 Patty says she'll put it in next week's paper 13 00:00:41,586 --> 00:00:44,067 if I have it and a photo in her inbox by 8 o'clock. 14 00:00:44,068 --> 00:00:45,343 She only wants an original photo 15 00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:46,723 from Woodside Woods. 16 00:00:46,724 --> 00:00:47,930 I'm slammed today, Jules. 17 00:00:47,931 --> 00:00:48,861 Hey, Dwight. 18 00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:49,688 You helping with the school fundraiser? 19 00:00:49,689 --> 00:00:50,619 Sure am. 20 00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:51,550 Bingo night? 21 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,861 You know it. 22 00:00:52,862 --> 00:00:54,136 Please, Dwight. 23 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,205 It would be raising awareness for a vanishing species. 24 00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:57,240 'Kay-- 25 00:00:57,241 --> 00:00:58,102 I will dedicate my Pulitzer to you someday. 26 00:00:58,103 --> 00:00:58,723 I'll work it in. 27 00:00:58,724 --> 00:00:59,516 Yes! 28 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:00,481 You're the best. 29 00:01:00,482 --> 00:01:01,895 Make sure to bring the prize baskets 30 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,550 to the multipurpose room by 6:00 in cellophane. 31 00:01:04,551 --> 00:01:05,447 Will do, Mick. 32 00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:13,068 Done, done, done, done. 33 00:01:14,689 --> 00:01:17,309 Okay, Juliet's owl. 34 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:23,068 ♪ Tell me why Tell me why ♪ 35 00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:25,447 There you are. 36 00:02:27,137 --> 00:02:29,412 Ah! 37 00:02:41,068 --> 00:02:42,344 Ah! 38 00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:50,586 Ahh! 39 00:02:53,344 --> 00:02:54,585 No, no, no! 40 00:02:54,586 --> 00:02:56,240 Mortal enemy, or harmless peasant? 41 00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:56,964 Wait! 42 00:02:56,965 --> 00:02:59,895 Hold, Your Highness! 43 00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:01,205 It worked. 44 00:03:01,206 --> 00:03:02,654 Look around you. 45 00:03:02,655 --> 00:03:04,136 Shall I kill this foe or not? 46 00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:06,240 He is not a foe. 47 00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:08,033 I regret to say, Your Highness, 48 00:03:08,034 --> 00:03:09,378 this is him. 49 00:03:09,379 --> 00:03:10,309 Whom? 50 00:03:10,310 --> 00:03:11,274 The one. 51 00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:13,240 You know, the last hope. 52 00:03:13,241 --> 00:03:16,240 The only solution? 53 00:03:16,241 --> 00:03:17,309 Him? 54 00:03:17,310 --> 00:03:19,447 The spell worked, Princess. 55 00:03:19,448 --> 00:03:22,274 This is the champion we've been waiting for. 56 00:03:22,275 --> 00:03:23,930 This little wiggling worm? 57 00:03:23,931 --> 00:03:24,481 Hey. 58 00:03:24,482 --> 00:03:25,274 It appears so. 59 00:03:25,275 --> 00:03:26,309 This mucus-y little toad? 60 00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:26,861 Hey, whoa, whoa. 61 00:03:26,862 --> 00:03:27,688 Why the name calling? 62 00:03:27,689 --> 00:03:28,619 This little rabbit pellet 63 00:03:28,620 --> 00:03:29,585 is the one who is supposed to protect-- 64 00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:30,654 Okay, okay, okay. 65 00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:31,723 We don't have to see eye to eye on everything. 66 00:03:31,724 --> 00:03:36,102 We can respect each other's differences, right? 67 00:03:36,103 --> 00:03:37,654 Yeah? 68 00:03:37,655 --> 00:03:39,274 Get me another champion, Baldric. 69 00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:41,136 I dearly wish I could, 70 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,792 but the rules of the spell are inflexible. 71 00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:45,930 It was his kiss that woke you. 72 00:03:45,931 --> 00:03:46,585 Oh, no. 73 00:03:46,586 --> 00:03:47,550 No no, no. 74 00:03:47,551 --> 00:03:48,102 Hold up. 75 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,585 I did not kiss her. 76 00:03:49,586 --> 00:03:50,757 Am I awake? 77 00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:52,654 Then you kissed me. 78 00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:53,481 No, total accident. 79 00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:55,171 I fell on my face 80 00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:57,447 and you were under it. 81 00:03:57,448 --> 00:03:58,550 Should have read the contract. 82 00:03:58,551 --> 00:04:00,103 The, the what? 83 00:04:03,862 --> 00:04:05,585 "By waking this Princess with your kiss, 84 00:04:05,586 --> 00:04:07,826 "you agree to perform the office and function 85 00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:10,447 "of her Champion until her hordes of enemies 86 00:04:10,448 --> 00:04:12,481 are defeated." 87 00:04:16,793 --> 00:04:18,930 Okay, you guys are obviously going 88 00:04:18,931 --> 00:04:20,067 through some stuff right now, 89 00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:21,999 and, uh, you're off your medication. 90 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:22,964 There is a gas leak. 91 00:04:22,965 --> 00:04:24,205 I-I don't know. 92 00:04:24,206 --> 00:04:25,205 You see, I can't make 93 00:04:25,206 --> 00:04:26,585 other people's problems my problems. 94 00:04:26,586 --> 00:04:27,757 You see, I tend to do that 95 00:04:27,758 --> 00:04:29,585 and it's not healthy or productive in the long term. 96 00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:30,723 And plus, I'm already committed 97 00:04:30,724 --> 00:04:31,930 to the school fundraising thing 98 00:04:31,931 --> 00:04:32,723 so... 99 00:04:42,068 --> 00:04:45,550 Aaaah! 100 00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:48,033 [growling continues 101 00:04:50,965 --> 00:04:53,447 Ahhh! 102 00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,930 Run! 103 00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:10,723 What was that? 104 00:05:10,724 --> 00:05:12,240 Troll. 105 00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:33,792 What are you doing? 106 00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:34,688 Light-headed. 107 00:05:34,689 --> 00:05:36,309 I'm just stabilizing my breathing. 108 00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:37,343 Get off your rump. 109 00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:38,792 These woods are crawling with my foes. 110 00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:40,343 Who are you? 111 00:05:40,344 --> 00:05:41,481 You have the honor 112 00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:44,343 of addressing Princess Gretta the Besieged. 113 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,965 I am her court magician, Baldric. 114 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,481 'Kay. I'm Dwight. 115 00:05:53,482 --> 00:05:54,964 Whoa. 116 00:05:54,965 --> 00:05:55,792 Ow. 117 00:05:55,793 --> 00:05:57,447 Sir Dwight now. 118 00:05:57,448 --> 00:06:00,481 Rise Champion and run. 119 00:06:00,482 --> 00:06:01,999 My enemies are everywhere. 120 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,723 Since when? 121 00:06:03,724 --> 00:06:06,447 Since you kissed Princess Gretta awake. 122 00:06:06,448 --> 00:06:08,136 I did not kiss her. 123 00:06:10,448 --> 00:06:12,378 I suggest we explain while fleeing. 124 00:06:12,379 --> 00:06:14,102 Okay, yeah sure. 125 00:06:14,103 --> 00:06:16,171 It was because of these legions of enemies 126 00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:18,757 that we resorted to the Champion spell. 127 00:06:18,758 --> 00:06:20,895 We were besieged on all sides, 128 00:06:20,896 --> 00:06:23,688 barricaded in the castle, no hope of rescue. 129 00:06:23,689 --> 00:06:26,033 So I cast a spell of last resort. 130 00:06:26,034 --> 00:06:27,826 The Champion spell is what put us all to sleep. 131 00:06:27,827 --> 00:06:28,999 Princess Gretta, myself-- 132 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,792 And anyone else in these woods that day. 133 00:06:30,793 --> 00:06:33,343 The spell was designed to remain in effect 134 00:06:33,344 --> 00:06:36,930 until a champion came. 135 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:40,240 Someone with the courage, the valor, the skills 136 00:06:40,241 --> 00:06:44,688 to defeat the Princess's hordes of enemies. 137 00:06:44,689 --> 00:06:47,757 Instead, we got you. 138 00:06:47,758 --> 00:06:49,240 So, 139 00:06:49,241 --> 00:06:50,378 so when I woke you up... 140 00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:51,619 With your kiss. 141 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,826 Accidental kiss. 142 00:06:52,827 --> 00:06:54,516 You woke up everyone. 143 00:06:54,517 --> 00:06:56,964 The spell is broken. 144 00:06:56,965 --> 00:06:59,067 We're back. 145 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,826 Whither are we bound? 146 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,619 Woodside High. 147 00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:20,999 What time is it? 148 00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:31,343 Her Royal Highness, 149 00:07:31,344 --> 00:07:34,171 Princess Gretta. 150 00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:38,171 Well, uh, the Renaissance faire 151 00:07:38,172 --> 00:07:39,999 is setting up right over there. 152 00:07:56,551 --> 00:07:57,895 Uh, Dwight? 153 00:07:57,896 --> 00:07:59,378 I'll pay for this Bill, all right? 154 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:02,309 I'm- I'm- I'm really sorry. 155 00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:04,067 Were you raised in a barn? 156 00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:06,654 No, a cliffside fortress. 157 00:08:06,655 --> 00:08:09,481 Then, a desert fortress, a swamp fortress, 158 00:08:09,482 --> 00:08:10,654 an underground fortress, 159 00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:14,792 and finally, a forest fortress. 160 00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,895 This is a spectacular plum. 161 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,067 People are staring at you. 162 00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:19,688 I'm starving. 163 00:08:19,689 --> 00:08:20,895 I haven't eaten in-- 164 00:08:20,896 --> 00:08:25,999 Over a thousand years. 165 00:08:39,551 --> 00:08:41,551 Sorcery. 166 00:09:03,517 --> 00:09:05,379 Okay... 167 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:07,999 Hey, there. 168 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,412 Mortal enemy or harmless peasant? 169 00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:10,964 Also, you're gonna kill the shrubs. 170 00:09:10,965 --> 00:09:11,964 Whoa, whoa. Okay. 171 00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:13,309 What is that? 172 00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:15,861 This is Juliet. 173 00:09:15,862 --> 00:09:16,654 Hey. 174 00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:17,895 Kneel, wench. 175 00:09:17,896 --> 00:09:19,619 You are in the presence of her royal-- 176 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:20,585 No, no, no, no. 177 00:09:20,586 --> 00:09:22,067 That is not how we are going to do this. 178 00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:24,067 This is my turf, now. 179 00:09:24,068 --> 00:09:26,447 What we are going to call Nice... 180 00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:28,516 Nice Turf. 181 00:09:28,517 --> 00:09:31,136 Oh my gosh. 182 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,102 You got the Shakespeare Improv Troupe? 183 00:09:33,103 --> 00:09:34,274 Uh no, they're... 184 00:09:34,275 --> 00:09:35,102 Yeah. 185 00:09:35,103 --> 00:09:36,343 Okay, yeah, we'll go with that. 186 00:09:36,344 --> 00:09:38,792 I thought they were booked until June. 187 00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:41,171 Good e'en. 188 00:09:41,172 --> 00:09:45,310 Welcome to our fair village. 189 00:09:47,965 --> 00:09:51,309 We require wine and venison. 190 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:53,136 We don't have either of those things. 191 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,067 Here is your belly button owl. 192 00:09:58,068 --> 00:09:59,343 Whoa. 193 00:09:59,344 --> 00:10:01,999 Nice work, Dwight. 194 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:02,723 Come on. 195 00:10:02,724 --> 00:10:04,619 Let's go. 196 00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,136 Bye. 197 00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:10,274 What means this procession? 198 00:10:10,275 --> 00:10:12,930 Bingo night. 199 00:10:12,931 --> 00:10:14,241 Bingo night... 200 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:17,378 N-31. 201 00:10:22,827 --> 00:10:24,447 Her Royal Highness-- 202 00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:25,654 Save it... 203 00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:27,068 Dumbledore. 204 00:10:29,724 --> 00:10:31,482 Stay. 205 00:10:32,896 --> 00:10:33,585 Thanks for the call, Dwight. 206 00:10:33,586 --> 00:10:34,619 I am so sorry, Mick. 207 00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:36,171 I was in the woods and I fell 208 00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:37,274 and you're not gonna believe it-- 209 00:10:37,275 --> 00:10:37,826 Whatever. 210 00:10:37,827 --> 00:10:38,826 It doesn't matter. 211 00:10:38,827 --> 00:10:40,240 Russell did the cellophane. 212 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:41,240 Bingo. 213 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,619 Congratulations. 214 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,378 'Kay, come on down and pick out a basket. 215 00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:51,930 Food. 216 00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:54,930 Move! 217 00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:56,619 Oh, that'll be one dollar. 218 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:58,343 Insolent wench. 219 00:10:58,344 --> 00:11:01,723 It is your great honor to feed Princess Gretta. 220 00:11:01,724 --> 00:11:03,136 I got this. 221 00:11:03,137 --> 00:11:04,241 Here. 222 00:11:06,137 --> 00:11:07,723 What are you doing? 223 00:11:07,724 --> 00:11:12,619 Caution first, Your Highness. 224 00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:13,723 Taste this. 225 00:11:13,724 --> 00:11:14,792 No. 226 00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:18,688 It's pure carbs inside fructose corn syr-- Okay. 227 00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:22,240 Now we see if the poison takes effect. 228 00:11:22,241 --> 00:11:23,171 No. 229 00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:24,378 Nobody poisoned the Rice Krispie treats. 230 00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,895 We shall see. 231 00:11:26,896 --> 00:11:27,516 Okay. 232 00:11:27,517 --> 00:11:28,654 Are you insane? 233 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,171 I am a princess, 234 00:11:30,172 --> 00:11:32,274 which means my life has been under constant threat 235 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,412 since the moment my mother birthed me. 236 00:11:34,413 --> 00:11:35,447 Ew. 237 00:11:35,448 --> 00:11:36,309 I've been fighting for survival 238 00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:38,067 since I was old enough to hold a sword. 239 00:11:38,068 --> 00:11:39,240 How old was that? 240 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:40,481 Two. 241 00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:41,723 Oh. 242 00:11:41,724 --> 00:11:42,274 Young Man: Hey, Dwight. 243 00:11:42,275 --> 00:11:43,757 Who's your friend? 244 00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:44,757 Oh, n-n-no! 245 00:11:44,758 --> 00:11:46,343 Harmless peasant. 246 00:11:46,344 --> 00:11:47,136 So sorry, Charles. 247 00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:48,378 You okay, you good? 248 00:11:48,379 --> 00:11:49,412 Great. 249 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:52,274 Nice Turf, remember? 250 00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:53,826 So your childhood sucked, right? 251 00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:55,102 Your life is under constant threat. 252 00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:56,481 I get it, but not, and I repeat, 253 00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:59,516 not from the glee club president. 254 00:11:59,517 --> 00:12:02,550 Every guy you see is not trying to kill you. 255 00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:15,654 Okay, that guy's trying to kill you. 256 00:12:30,586 --> 00:12:32,412 Sir Dwight, do something! 257 00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:33,516 What? 258 00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:36,309 You are honor bound to protect Princess Gretta. 259 00:12:38,655 --> 00:12:42,757 She's doing fine. 260 00:13:00,724 --> 00:13:01,896 Oh! 261 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:10,792 Okay. Okay, okay, man. 262 00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:14,481 Hey, we all know violence is never the answer, right? 263 00:13:14,482 --> 00:13:16,102 Save your breath, Champion. 264 00:13:16,103 --> 00:13:17,274 Champion? 265 00:13:17,275 --> 00:13:18,412 Him? 266 00:13:18,413 --> 00:13:20,033 Sadly, yes. 267 00:13:20,034 --> 00:13:21,757 This spineless tadpole? 268 00:13:21,758 --> 00:13:22,792 I know. 269 00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:23,757 This snivelling little weakling? 270 00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:26,103 Can we not do this again? 271 00:13:50,034 --> 00:13:54,033 Encore, encore! 272 00:13:58,551 --> 00:14:00,481 He'll return with her to the woods, 273 00:14:00,482 --> 00:14:02,895 to a world that is familiar. 274 00:14:02,896 --> 00:14:04,447 Okay. 275 00:14:04,448 --> 00:14:05,378 That's his plan. 276 00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:06,585 What's yours? 277 00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:07,826 If you were a proper champion, 278 00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:10,688 you would undertake the rescue yourself. 279 00:14:10,689 --> 00:14:11,895 Well, as far as I'm concerned, 280 00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:14,240 I'm a freakin' hero just for giving your butt a ride, 281 00:14:14,241 --> 00:14:15,964 or your princess girl is not my problem. 282 00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,792 Oh, but she is. 283 00:14:17,793 --> 00:14:20,378 Your fate and hers became one the moment you kissed her. 284 00:14:20,379 --> 00:14:21,274 I did not kiss her. 285 00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:22,757 You pressed your lips firmly against-- 286 00:14:22,758 --> 00:14:24,757 Okay, stop. 287 00:14:24,758 --> 00:14:26,102 You are not only honor bound 288 00:14:26,103 --> 00:14:28,102 to protect Princess Gretta, 289 00:14:28,103 --> 00:14:30,550 you are spellbound. 290 00:14:30,551 --> 00:14:33,516 I'm gonna hate what you say next, huh? 291 00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:36,136 If the princess dies, 292 00:14:36,137 --> 00:14:38,550 so does her champion. 293 00:14:38,551 --> 00:14:40,861 So, I could die then? 294 00:14:40,862 --> 00:14:43,171 What kind of nutjob came up with that? 295 00:14:43,172 --> 00:14:43,723 Oh, yeah. 296 00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:45,481 Right, you. 297 00:14:45,482 --> 00:14:50,378 As I said, it was a spell of last resort. 298 00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:10,516 Let me go this instant you... 299 00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:13,412 Call me... 300 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,619 Sugar plum. 301 00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:16,723 Chlodwig? 302 00:15:16,724 --> 00:15:18,205 None other, my darling. 303 00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:21,792 This is the happiest day of my life! 304 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:24,585 Release me this instant, Chlodwig. 305 00:15:24,586 --> 00:15:27,172 Honestly, I've tried to be nice. 306 00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:33,413 Hark, wedding bells. 307 00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:42,861 Dearly beloved... 308 00:15:42,862 --> 00:15:44,274 Good grief, you're annoying. 309 00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:48,275 ...we are gathered here for a most joyous event. 310 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,274 You've been good to my baby. 311 00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:57,792 I'm giving him to you forever. 312 00:15:59,724 --> 00:16:02,517 All you people are nuts, huh? 313 00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:06,550 I will never marry you, Chlodwig. 314 00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:08,102 But we are betrothed. 315 00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:10,033 Mummy and daddy promised you to me. 316 00:16:10,034 --> 00:16:11,412 We were three years old, 317 00:16:11,413 --> 00:16:13,378 and then you turned into a lunatic. 318 00:16:13,379 --> 00:16:15,964 I am a prince. 319 00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:17,964 No one tells me no. 320 00:16:17,965 --> 00:16:19,930 I am a princess, 321 00:16:19,931 --> 00:16:22,585 and I'm telling you no. 322 00:16:22,586 --> 00:16:24,654 You'll marry me or... 323 00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:27,136 Or I'll feed you to the dragon. 324 00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:29,551 Ah! 325 00:16:30,068 --> 00:16:31,033 See? 326 00:16:31,034 --> 00:16:32,965 See how much I love you? 327 00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:36,240 Stop him. 328 00:16:36,241 --> 00:16:36,895 How? 329 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,585 Brute force, naturally. 330 00:16:38,586 --> 00:16:40,861 I don't do brute force. 331 00:16:40,862 --> 00:16:42,757 What do you do? 332 00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:45,724 I do... 333 00:16:46,931 --> 00:16:48,896 diplomacy. 334 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,757 I do diplomacy. 335 00:16:53,758 --> 00:16:56,965 This is the last time I use the Champion spell. 336 00:17:01,068 --> 00:17:03,033 Hey, man. 337 00:17:03,034 --> 00:17:05,619 Hey, Gretta. 338 00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:06,757 Whoa, hey, no. 339 00:17:06,758 --> 00:17:10,481 I, I didn't come here to fight. 340 00:17:10,482 --> 00:17:14,309 You came to die, then? 341 00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:17,274 No. I... 342 00:17:17,275 --> 00:17:20,136 I came to bring you up to speed. 343 00:17:20,137 --> 00:17:21,343 It's been, what? 344 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,550 A thousand years since you last, 345 00:17:23,551 --> 00:17:25,757 you know, circulated? 346 00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:27,033 It's a different world now. 347 00:17:27,034 --> 00:17:29,274 I just want to make sure that you have the skills 348 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,895 to survive and thrive. 349 00:17:31,896 --> 00:17:34,136 You come from yon village? 350 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:37,033 Yon village is called Woodside. 351 00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:38,964 Nice town, great schools. 352 00:17:38,965 --> 00:17:39,895 Lots of kids our age. 353 00:17:39,896 --> 00:17:42,861 You'd fit... right in. 354 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:46,585 My society was limited growing up. 355 00:17:46,586 --> 00:17:48,861 Mummy didn't like me to leave the castle. 356 00:17:48,862 --> 00:17:52,240 Good news is, mummy isn't here right now, 357 00:17:52,241 --> 00:17:55,067 and there is a whole world out there, man. 358 00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:57,895 But I'm on a quest to win the hand of Princess Gretta 359 00:17:57,896 --> 00:18:01,378 by fair means or foul. 360 00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:07,792 Yeah, turns out that's not a good quest. 361 00:18:07,793 --> 00:18:10,067 She's just not that into you, man. 362 00:18:10,068 --> 00:18:13,619 It sucks, but we've all been there. 363 00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:17,102 Welcome to guy club. 364 00:18:17,103 --> 00:18:21,723 Guy Club. 365 00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:24,447 Thank you. 366 00:18:24,448 --> 00:18:26,688 You've earned it? 367 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:29,102 So, Guy Club. 368 00:18:29,103 --> 00:18:30,378 We have a few simple rules. 369 00:18:30,379 --> 00:18:31,378 I love rules. 370 00:18:31,379 --> 00:18:33,274 Me too. 371 00:18:33,275 --> 00:18:35,171 First rule is, 372 00:18:35,172 --> 00:18:37,757 we don't feed girls to dragons. 373 00:18:37,758 --> 00:18:40,378 Sorry, that's kind of a, 374 00:18:40,379 --> 00:18:42,378 kind of a charter rule. 375 00:18:42,379 --> 00:18:43,757 Here's what you do instead. 376 00:18:43,758 --> 00:18:46,205 You write a sad poem in your journal. 377 00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:47,550 You learn a few chords on guitar 378 00:18:47,551 --> 00:18:48,964 and you turn that sad poem 379 00:18:48,965 --> 00:18:52,724 into a sad song that you sing to other girls. 380 00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:02,895 I already know a few chords on the lute. 381 00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:05,033 Oh, not the lute. 382 00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:06,964 Lute works too. 383 00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:08,378 You're already way ahead of the game. 384 00:19:08,379 --> 00:19:09,378 Look out, ladies. 385 00:19:09,379 --> 00:19:11,378 Here comes... 386 00:19:11,379 --> 00:19:12,171 Chlodwig. 387 00:19:12,172 --> 00:19:17,343 Chlodwig, right? 388 00:19:17,344 --> 00:19:21,102 But, what of Princess Gretta? 389 00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:22,516 I'll get her down. 390 00:19:22,517 --> 00:19:23,481 You get to that journal 391 00:19:23,482 --> 00:19:25,896 while your inspiration is still white hot. 392 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:36,585 I am in your debt, Guy Club brother. 393 00:19:36,586 --> 00:19:37,757 Call me, Dwight. 394 00:19:37,758 --> 00:19:41,413 See you in yon village, Dwight. 395 00:19:44,655 --> 00:19:46,965 Uh, uh... 396 00:20:06,827 --> 00:20:09,103 You did it, Sir Dwight! 397 00:20:14,482 --> 00:20:19,240 That was, how did you do that? 398 00:20:19,241 --> 00:20:23,171 Like I said, we're on my turf now. 399 00:20:23,172 --> 00:20:24,378 Nice Turf. 400 00:20:24,379 --> 00:20:25,481 Yeah! 401 00:20:25,482 --> 00:20:26,965 Yeah. 402 00:20:29,241 --> 00:20:33,688 I am the king of Nice Turf. 403 00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:35,930 You are not the champion I expected. 404 00:20:35,931 --> 00:20:37,240 I know, I know. 405 00:20:37,241 --> 00:20:39,067 Rabbit pellet, mucus-y toad. 406 00:20:39,068 --> 00:20:40,481 Grotesque little pustule. 407 00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:44,136 But... 408 00:20:44,137 --> 00:20:46,758 you may be the champion I need. 409 00:20:49,724 --> 00:20:54,136 So, what do we do now? 410 00:20:54,137 --> 00:20:56,516 To stay here would be... 411 00:20:56,517 --> 00:20:58,895 Madness, Your Highness. 412 00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:01,378 But where can we go? 413 00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:05,826 Perhaps that is a question best answered by... 414 00:21:05,827 --> 00:21:08,136 your champion. 415 00:21:18,241 --> 00:21:21,379 My neighbors just put their house up for sale. 416 00:21:23,172 --> 00:21:24,793 Hm. 417 00:21:34,655 --> 00:21:40,274 Walls seem a little flimsy. 418 00:21:40,275 --> 00:21:42,309 Actors. 419 00:21:42,310 --> 00:21:45,240 So, what do you guys think? 420 00:21:45,241 --> 00:21:47,343 With a few fortifications. 421 00:21:53,655 --> 00:21:55,655 We'll salvage what we can. 422 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,654 ...to make it more comfortable. 423 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,343 We shall build a lookout tower for Dwight. 424 00:22:04,344 --> 00:22:05,620 Sorry, what? 425 00:22:09,482 --> 00:22:11,931 A moat eventually. 426 00:22:21,793 --> 00:22:24,000 It will do. 427 00:22:37,379 --> 00:22:40,240 Here. 428 00:22:40,241 --> 00:22:43,274 Two hands is best while you're a beginner. 429 00:22:43,275 --> 00:22:45,240 Is this really necessary? 430 00:22:45,241 --> 00:22:46,654 You teach me the rules of your turf, 431 00:22:46,655 --> 00:22:48,240 I teach you the rules of mine. 432 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:50,620 That's our bargain. 433 00:22:53,965 --> 00:22:57,792 Well done. 434 00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:02,620 For starters, my overall appearance... 435 00:23:06,137 --> 00:23:07,654 Your look is awesome. 436 00:23:07,655 --> 00:23:10,931 Don't change a thing. 437 00:23:15,827 --> 00:23:16,931 'Kay. 438 00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:25,274 So, we fought a troll and a wormy knight guy. 439 00:23:25,275 --> 00:23:29,758 I mean, it's not gonna get much worse than that, right? 440 00:23:32,068 --> 00:23:33,965 Right? 441 00:23:46,896 --> 00:23:48,792 Sir Dwight, get the door. 442 00:23:48,793 --> 00:23:51,723 It might be the pizza peasant.